slosh down the pepper!

Where's my cup of tea?

How do most people define 'success'? My parents are likely to equate that with the size of the paycheck. Most of my friends will see the same, with some of them placing emphasis also on the rank or title held. A manager earning $4,000 is probably more successful than an executive that earns $5,000. A handful of them might say: "As long I am happy with enough to spend, I am more or less successful". Nowadays, I am inclined towards the latter thought. I yearn for a good quality of life, with time to spare for activities I enjoy rather than immerse in long hours of work that does not even result in a sense of satisfaction 80% of the time.

I reckon that I can do the same as long as I treat my job as simply a job; quickly finish the work, and go home. Yet, the corporate culture does not tolerate anyone without an ambition to progress. Perhaps it's only my workplace that promotes such an aggresive working attitude. Everyone is encouraged to work hard, suggest improvements, handle projects, all on top of the normal workload. Work passed on from the top to the lower rungs are considered a chance for the normal executive to showcase their ability to rise up the ladder. Then when everyone is being pushed to work as hard, one has to work even harder to even think of getting an average or slightly above average performance grade at the end of the year. In retrospect, I am on the verge of regretting a job switch from a friendly family-like environment to a concrete fast-paced skyscraper. I used to go to fancy celebratory dinner treats with the entire department, and heartlander-style outings such as ktv, dinners, bbqs. Now, there are only invites to drinks, drinks and more drinking sessions, of which I only attended once, and that was because it was to celebrate the Boss's promotion. It was just so not my cup of tea.

For the past 6 months or so, I have been thinking of alternatives to get myself out of this corporate challenge. Never has the desire to do something different or start something new been so strong. I had to think of a work that provides sustainability, reasonable income to maintain at least my current standard of living, and yet flexible enough such that I can do it whenever and wherever I want to. So there were the options: 1) start my own business, 2) patent something, 3) produce something that earns royalties.

Heh.. Tempest and I had a discussion some time ago on profitable activities. And he thought writing children's stories is a good way to earn money. Parents are so willing to spend on loads of books for their kids. Writing a story isn't really too difficult, especially some ridiculous fairy tale with talking animals. That's almost a breeze :p But neither of us know how to draw, and kids' storybooks rely on colorful illustrations to make a point. So there goes the wonderful idea...

Too bad I ain't savvy in investments, otherwise I could hole up in my bedroom with my laptop, alternating between playing facebook games and trading equities on POEMS. Whatever said, it's all empty talk till now. Sometimes, I also wish that I could just leave here and start anew elsewhere, maybe in a European country where life is more relaxed and people do enjoy taking time off to sip coffee and watch the crowd pass by. I could be serving expresso in a al-fresco cafe, or working with volunteers n a non-profit organization, or take up courses and turn into a professional yoga teacher! Or simply any place that does not boast of a structured hierarchy. A big place often comes with huge politics and unnecessary aggression.

Sigh.. I hate the state I am in now.. neither motivated to strive and earn the 'Best Employee' award nor sufficiently enthusiastic to pursue a new direction. Argh!!!

posted by slingwoof @ 9/08/2009 01:37:00 AM