slosh down the pepper!

How much will I do?

I wonder just how much I will do for a friend.

This afternoon at 12.47pm, a friend called me but I was sound asleep and didn't hear the ring. I only managed to reply the call at 1.26pm, at half a sleepy tone, "eh you looking for me ah?"

"yar.. i am just wondering if you are with your bf now... whether if you are able to come pick me up... " She was crying as she was saying these.

This is the first time I heard her cry. To me, she is always the emotional yet independent & resilent woman who seems so strong yet fragile at the same time. I have always known that she had issues with her family. This time round, she made her word true when she packed her bags, carried her cats and took off to a friend's home. I was stunned and too lost for words that I could only acknowledge what she was saying during the brief conversation I had with her. I felt apologetic for not being able to pick up her call at 12.47pm. I wonder just how much I could do for her if I pick up her call at 12.47pm.

After putting down the phone, I begin to wonder...
Am I the first person she has called?
How did she feel when she couldn't get through to me?
Will I put her up at my place? If I do, where's she gonna sleep?
Will I help her to find a place to stay?
Or should I encourage her to return home?
Will I provide her with financial assistance if there's a need to?
How's her life gonna be with this change of events?
Should I tell our mutual friends?

Sounds kinda mean of me to think of the logistical arrangements and ripple effects it could have on me when a friend out there badly needs probably just my understanding and a listening ear. But I can't help it. I want to help. I feel complemented when people turn to me for advice or simply just for a grousing session. Herein is a friend who has fulfilled all my desires to feel appreciated, and who even promised me a shoulder to lean on in difficult times. I love the exclusivity zone that she has put me into. Now I wonder just how much of her definition of a "good friend" have I managed to stand up to.

Feeling right now: inadequate.

posted by slingwoof @ 9/16/2006 03:53:00 PM