a twist of fate (we want)... but ONE step at a time
It was a plan failed. 'Albert' did not expect his plan to fail;
neither did we for ours. Albert Ong, casted by Adrian Pang, switched between his slangs as rapidly as the raft slips along the white waters. One minute he was sprouting an almost perfect english accent, and the other he sounded like a peranakan man who had failed to master completely the Tamil language. This inconsistency was replayed in two minds who wanted to unhatch the plot they had been scheming so far. Opportunities arose many a time, only to be sank by low tides of willpower. Of mine, I am saying.
I am not sure if Albert Ong regretted his move. I sure did for my unsuccessful re-enactment of the mystery embedded in the performance. How I wish the outcome would be as surprising as 'Ah Si' (casted by Aloysius in PCK, Marcus something was his name)'s real identity. He was a 100% chinese-looking half-angmoh!
A twist of fate I will be glad to call it, but I was mercilessly reminded that I had untwisted the twist that was originally planned. Status quo remains unchallenged. The burden of truth remains loaded on the tired shoulders.
Hmm.. maybe, one step at a time... This time round, it's merely testing the waters, though till now, I am still unsure of its depth. Anyway, the next time, stones will just be thrown in, be it whether the ripples will be big or small. The PLAN shall not fail! The PLAN cannot fail!
Time for another packet of '
twisties'.... :-p
--------------------------
As usual, there were some wrong turns here and there (both on the road and
off the road). I reached home 15mins later than I should have. She took us for a ride, and so did I to my partner in crime. Efforts wasted, time lost. Curse the roads!
ssshhhhhh.......!
We have been living in the world of silence. A heaven that depicts the pressure-less self floating on a satin cloud... we fight for a space within the carebears' star-speckled, cotton candy house. Amidst the white fluffs, two pairs of eyes stare at each other wondering what next that is worthy enough to sprout out of their mouths. At such juncture, I like to think of Ronan Keating.. Notting Hill.. Hugh Grant.. Julia Roberts...
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thingThe words travelled to the heart on a cloudie-O car which muffed the meanings as it roamed past the vast maze of disc-shaped red-colored cells. I am puzzled, sometimes amazed to what I can "hear".
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all Let the smile move into those thoughts... the eyes beam a gleam to the hidden wink... the warmth of the touch defrost the icy fingers... very true.
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mineMaybe. Why are only those privileged few staying in the realm of silence?
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all Half the time, we shift into Count Olaf's humble abode (as he called it to be), groping in the dark with fear cross-stepping mystery. It's a weirdy castle with doors hinged on the wrong side, windows home to the dust, pots and pans cleaned to the color of rust... and the Count singing to the tune of fuss! It's no longer moments of silent happiness, but fear of the unspoken.
(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)The horrible 'singings' played deep into the heart. What is the other mind thinking?! :-/
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me...Ahhh... when in doubt, SMILE! :-)
Sunday lessons... over a 2-hour meal
Lesson 1.0: SE w800i's cover and sim card holder has high security designs.I can't get the cover out even after 5 mins of trying! Even after the cover was successfully taken out (thanks to the brute strength of a friend), the stupid sim card was 'locked' against its holder. 10 mins! I think I must have tried that long before my friend took over and replaced my agony with relief. Arghh.. why must I leave my charger in the office?!
Lesson 1.1: Siglap has limited food choices, actually.15 mins taken to travel to destination; it could be lesser if we didn't miss the carpark. I got off the car feeling happy, thinking that I had finally the chance to dine in this place touted to be famous for numerous little eateries, tasteful ones to note. After walking to and fro for the next 25 mins, we stopped by at a coffeeshop which is next to Jin Wee Restaurant which is next to the NTUC Fairprice (WTH is NTUC doing down there?!). Weird it may seem to be, but I had to take more time in figuring out my best choice out of a limited lousy ones. Same decision-making mechanism in the coffeeshop. I peeped into the 5 different stalls and returned to the very first one that caught my eye when I first stepped in: "Hock Lam Beef Noodles". This was another 5 mins spent.
Lesson 1.2: Blogging saves you a lot of talking.Another 10 mins passed before the mixed beef soup with rice and drinks came along. Another 10 mins of fiddling with utensils on the table if the drinks lady didn't appear to take and deliver orders. All in all, lunch was a less than 2 hours event despite so many happenings. Long for a normal afternoon meal, but perhaps short for a foodie meeting with friends. Blogging helped to wrap up the affair in a quick manner. No more need (not as much) to update each other on the latest incidents. Credit must be given to MSN too. Life is being routinized. Should I feel happy?
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The dinner was postponed (euphemism for 'cancelled'). Kinda predictable. Not a last minute decision, yet turned out to be a last minute arrangement.
Ahh... I am craving for food again... Fat. Fats. FATTENING. *grabs biscuits*
blessings... more and still counting...
I found out I wasn't going to HK afterall. The news came on a little hard especially after I happily told a few that I will be crusading in the pearl of the orient a number of times in the coming year. On the other hand, I was pretty relieved when the burden was unloaded. No more x'mas celebration at 10 degree celsius (they shifted forward the project schedule anyway), but neither will there be pressure to fortfiy myself with knowledge that has been foreign to me in a short period. I can finally go on my 2-week block leave too! A blessing in disguise.
(*_*)
It was in the same week that I learnt that Big Boss has fixated in his mind the decision to move the call agent team to a location that appeared distant and pathetic. The team of 3 full-time permanent, 3 full-time contract, 1 full-time temp, and 5 part-time temps are to move into a corner next to the office pantry and back-facing the row of senior management staffs. With the exception of A (team leader), the rest of the team are being seated in a long bench with no proper drawers and personal space. It is a total deviation from what the other staffs from other teams are getting! Even though Big Boss is trying hard to make the environment comfortable for the team, I felt the inevitable anger and depression that our efforts are not being seriously recognized, much less rewarded. We appeared to be concubines who had lost favor with the emperor and thus cast into the harem to be subjected to cold treatment. In another two weeks, this shan't be my business anymore. However at this instant, I shall sank in dishearten-ness. Another blessing in disguise.
(*o*)
As I tucked into the fried garoupa with thai sauce, I listened attentively to my two girls talking about their mums. D's mum will always try to talk to her despite knowing how tired and sleepy D is. E will always try to ferry her mum to and fro the latter's shopping destinations despite knowing that she will be late for her appointments. Portrayal of a daughter's love or illustration of a lonely mother's need for care and concern? Guilty; to that I do not deny. More intensely, I count my blessings (once more) for having a father who's always there with my mum, be it quarrelsome times or sweet simple moments.
(*c*)"
Planned move(s), miscalculated
"A miss. Still a miss. Maybe it was all planned, from the beginning where the bag was shifted from the seat to the 'floor'. The emergent distance was meant to be smaller than what it would have been as she turned to the back seat and bent to pick up her bag. He leaned forward to help her with the transportation of the bag over a short 10 - 20cm. Or at least she thought it was only so.
A whiff of moist air blew past her hair as she sat there, attempting to place her mobile and money into the bag. She was ready to leave the car. The motive ran out of the shadows as he 'tripped', his lips barely resting on the cheeks that were laced with hair falling from the sides as she looked down intently on her haversack. She was paralysed for a good two seconds as he made a second effort in achieving a successful shot (or so she thought it to be).
Expectedly, he failed to warm the cheeks. Trapped in her own emotions, she seemingly heard his last words in a slight moaning tone "..why did you move away...". She got out of the car grinning away at the 'embarr-appy' incident. After all, she did not foresee the happening of the moment which might simply sweep her away to the castles in the sky. "
The loss of a moment. The gain of another. It's a crappy world. :p
------------------------
I patted Wuffy's head as I recalled this story. He's a new addition to my family. Brown and cuddly, he chose a most impactful way to mark his entry into his newfound home (my old tattered house). Poor thing, he probably suffocated for nearly 8 hours before my mum got a shock as she dug her hand in my bag, only to fish out Wuffy, and not my water bottle. Hehe, planned move, miscalculated. Surprise, uninhibited.
Peeling the petals of the blossoms
SMS 1: "so & so asking if you got *pf or not..." (*flip it upwards by 180 degrees and re-read)
SMS 2: "yah lor.. not my biz to ans him anyway..."
SMS 3: "if you do have.. better own up...."
One voice. Three amusing moments.
It was three months ago, no, rather, it HAS been three months already since she last bombarded me with questions similar to SMS 3. She may not be the only one, but she has played a very active role in ensuring that my life will be one of a more fulfilling one. Afterall, that is 6 years of friendship we are talking about! It is out of CONCERN... it is out of ANXIETY... it is out of FRIENDSHIP that she's bugging me with SMS 1 & 2s... *chuckles*. No sneering. No snickering of ANY kind! No offence... Simply gratitude mixed with huge buckets of hilarity.
Few hours later came the phone call. The ultimatum. From hinting to guessing to roundabout questioning, the probing methodology took a sharp turn as she accelerated into direct interrogation! I can't bear to reveal the "obvious" (as what I was telling her), at least not till the next saturday. Auspicious date! Ripening date! Waiting for her to bang her head (or maybe mine)... hahaha :o)
The fate of her head, her jaws, her eyes will be tied to a conspiracy connived by her friends (now still termed as such). Will there be a jazzy twist? ("o")
----------------------
The season's in! Chinese peonies are blossoming in my backyard! What a sight..
Indignantly... MINE
Shucks! Just received an sms from colleague A who said she will only be able to do the night shift for tues and fri! What about me?! I appeared to have lost all rights to the control of the team I pioneered and set up. Worse, I have lost my right to fight for what I have always envisaged as being a power of mine, and solely mine to weave and swing around!! I had to work the night shift on mon, wed and thurs. GOSH... i hate my job... this part.
"care less" is the motto of my newfound confidence in regaining the heartbeat of the empty soul. "care more", "care for everything", "care and care".. these simply collaborate with the unsympathetic bosses to generate a spew of shitty farces out of a 24-year old's pursuit of an ideal corporate life.
Allowances that were promised never arrive. Heaps of work that were scheduled to be left in another (manipulated) pair of hands never materialize. In tandem with the disappointments see the coming of diffusion-able responsibilities (unfortunately, to me) pairing up with gigantic ambitions to further crumble the already weak foundation of my standing.
Office days passed by quickly in the residual smoke of heated arguments. But boy, it really can get pretty exciting and the thought of getting just another adrenalin rush pumps me up for the next imminent fight! I love victories! :)
Aye, oh well. Lemme just take solace in the upcoming HK tripS! Yup, with a capital "S"!! And and the possible insinuation of a promotion, but by a superior who just went on a 6-month long break? Ultra-questionable. Pessimism, stand aside. May Harry Potter come along with his broom to deliver a smacking quidditch spell and the frumpy genie continue to light my way with his rusty cranky old lamp...
I ain't gonna be due for submissiveness this week. Tues, Wed and Thurs, I am coming to celebrate the unscrupulous win-back of my life with all of you! :D
----------------------
A friend is an illusion of your own soul.
"He hung out with hooligans on the street to feed his dream as a gangster leader of coming..." "She blasted out of her coup of cliques to find back her own life..." I looked into the mirror. There she was, waving the hand made of the similar funny molecules that I have.
A surprise.. gone the long way
Nov 7 10.00am:
The 'stuffs' were packed into a yellow-ish beige colored envelope, those kind which you will use to send resumes with. I still hold a balance of probably 10 (now 9) ... it should still stay that way till I get the big envelope in the coming March (bosses, watcha!). Initially wanted to get a $1.95 box from Singpost. But it was too big to hold the little 'stuffs' I had. Go back to office and get weird stares & interrogations for taking home shredded pieces of customer information? Back to Orchard to buy more stuff and in the end spending several hours not knowing what to get? Be hardworking enough to take over the job of the shredder and tear up a stack of newspapers? Argh.. forget it lah!
I satisfied myself with the placement of the 'stuffs' with the resources I found. Read that the Japanese, in the past, will always place their country first, before the address, and lastly, the intended recipient's name. Wanted to do just that, but it looks abit weird:
Singapore XXXXXX
Eastern part of the island
Level/Floor of residence
Recipient
Came to a decision to move the first line to the third. Wonder who invented the way to write SG address where the postal code will always occur after "Singapore". This is so unlike the many international addresses that I have came across thus far in my past 1 year plus of work.
Nov 7 1.30pm:Parcel was weighed, and a $1-stamp stuck to its upper right corner. Since it wasn't a very thick parcel, maybe ard the width and length of half a piece of A4, and height of 2.0 - 2.5 cm, I wanted to play at my chances of getting it through as a normal post instead of registered mail. Happy that it went through the not-very-big holes of the post, I frowned slightly at the sight of the schedule. 1 hour past the stipulated collection time by Mr Postman.
Nov 8:
Parcel collected by Mr Postman (should be lah.. according to 'plan'). By 8pm, it should have already landed in the giant chutes of Singpost, waiting to be sorted.
Nov 9:No news yet. Parcel must be still resting in the Aljunied premises of Singpost. Because of the sequence I put down the recipient's name? Heng I didn't write Singapore first, I think it will take an even longer period of time to be 'decrypted' and delivered. Alright, I shall presume that it is in the midst of being sorted.
Nov 10:Still no news. Okie Okie.. STILL being sorted... afterall, not many people will write the mailing address & recipient's name in the way I do.
Nov 11:Parcel probably ended up in the bag meant for despatch. Going home!
Nov 12 anytime before 4.00pm:Parcel drops into intended recipient's mailbox.
Nov 12 4.50pm:
Status confirmed. Conclusion derived.
"So your dollar goes the distance although you never need to." -- Singpost
How very true... My one dollar stamped parcel went through a great deal of time and effort to reach my recipient! Tsk Tsk Tsk .... TSK
drunk with shocktail... (*_*)
I thought I was the one preparing to dissipate the special potion... but fate had a better arrangement to make me suffer retribution even before I took to the act! The splash went 'pia' on my face..... even though 18 hours had passed, droplets still hinged onto the microscopic pores of my skin, leaving a tingling acidic bite. No prior warning. No smoke. Not even a tweeny bit of tiptoeing was heard. You try being issued a big bottle of
shocktail (a very mild version of which the commoners produce is cocktail) and had to down the full 1-litre in a fraction of a minute! :-/
It was nowhere near my expectations after I swallowed the beverage which I had eagerly bargained for. 3 big notes I had to fork out before I get to take a little sniff. As I carefully moved my nostrils nearer to the liquid, the bartender tilted the bottle by 180 degrees, sending down the fiery solution through every hole residing on my face!
The sleepy cells got awoken at 3am. As the alcohol seeped through the c
rapillaries to enter the bloodstream, the body registered a momentous 'high' - a feeling of shiokness that frittered away in counts of millisecs. Good enough to realize the worth I
can exude after the passing of 23.5* 365 days. *numa numa ey...numa numa numa ey...*
As the clouds cleared out, a fuller picture emerged. It does not come with 5000 zig-zagged pieces that an average jigsaw puzzle would. This 10-piece 3d motion pack keeps you entertained with provoking insights and complex illusion-causing mindgames. A toy now played by 1, 2, 3, 4 people! I gotta watch out... ...
Anyone keen on a ribena? :-p
Spurred by a moment defined
now as blurrr and impulsive, I agreed to the occurrence of
that. It was
then an optimistic, confident and even delightful decision! If only the message was sent with a reply opposite that of the positive... the past 7 days will be an experience less than the negative.
Shots of regret burned in intense guilt as the idea of having borne an inconvenience to the good-natured intentions solidifies. What the hell was my brain doing??!! Transmission gone awry...
Die liao lor. Another "merit" point to the 18 levels (down under!) as I start to dig through the bloody dark-ish labyrinth of tunnels inside the grey & white matter for a potent concoction. I think i have accumulated enough points to get a
fast entry pass. :-0
*digs out sparkling red juice akin to ribena* Time to wipe off that evil smile....
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Presentation today was short and sweet. Glad that things turned out better than what I thought :-)
Mid-week thrills... yipppeee!
"smart casual"?! wahaha. So happy.
"no signboard seafood"?! *smiles even wider*
This is the mega-saga e2e kick-off conference held in Le Meridien. Forget about the fact that we were there to discuss the possibility of creating a regional working platform for the unsecured lending business, forget about the fact that we were supposed to be let off at 5pm but in the end turned out to be 7pm, forget about the fact that i was supposed to present my slides today but ended up having it postponed to next day 8.30am cos' there were too many hardworking souls who read too much between the lines and presented every ton of work they had prepared (mine's only 5 slides okie!), it was still quite a pleasant day.
Colorful personalities I have met in 7 hours: from messy spunky afro-hair to chirpy humorous souls, it was a congregation of 16 Hongkongers & 20 over Singaporeans. Almost undoubtedly, I appeared to be the youngest (and one in the lowest echelon) amongst the group of high-fliers with more than half wearing the ranks of Assistant Vice-Presidents and above. Stress.. Stress...
Anyway, the main cast of the story is (what else, but) the seafood! 9 dishes we were being told. 30mins must have passed before the cold dish was being brought out. Another 30 mins before the 2nd dish. Ya, a good old 30 mins again before the 3rd. THEN, they decided to exceed customers' expectations by serving not 2 or 3, but 4 dishes all at one go! And it was not just the chilli crabs (and fried buns) that were served, the white pepper crabs also came along! *yums* Couldn't rem. when the remaining 2 dishes were placed on the table, who cares when the main characters are out?
Amazingly, I had managed to eat two halves of the body parts with just a pair of chopsticks and a porcelain spoon! I reckoned it could have tasted better if I can taste the mixture of the chilli crab sauce with the dirt on my fingernails, hee. Next time, I shall do just that!
-------
I got to reach home earlier than I thought cos' the vehicle was taking the ECP instead of the usual turning-here-turning-there bus routes of no. 36 or worse no. 16. No crowd. No irritating noises. Best, no tapping of ezlink card!
It was definitely a rewarding & wonderful evening! And I meant not the food ;-)
Xiaoqiang comes visiting!
It was twelve midnight that 'he' came along. A wayward shock when i found 'him' crawling up the table situated 10cm away from me! Longish, and a little less than dark brown, that damned roach was slim and equipped with wings that allows 'him' to take flight. Of course, I gotta put up my defenses. The strategy formulated was one without hesitation: RUUUUUUNNN & HIIIIIDDDEEE! 三十六计走回上计。
Almost immediately i jumped out of my seat and make sure i m at least 100cm away from that horrible creature! 'He' happily crawled up the 100cm tall cupboard and up it jumped to the wall and did a further 80cm sprint to reach the top of a stack of 6 boxes. 'He' took a sniff for about 5 secs and started off his journey of 200cm to reach at the tyre of my brother's bike. After deciding that there ain't much to explore there, 'he' took a turn and ran towards me! I know, chasing after me is definitely more fun than circling around a blackish-colored wheel. Hey roachie, can't you take on somebody your same size?! :(
This repeated twice. The 2nd time was worse when i was cornered by 'him' in the kitchen. Yesh, 'he' took me one round in the living room before pushing me into the space next door. I had to jump above him to get 'him' off my back. But a third time 'he' came for me. That's it! 'He' won the game. I ceded my territory to 'him' and retreated to my room.
Who says the good will always triumph?
local mind, global thoughts... huh?
yay.. finally sent out the parcel I've been holding for dunno-how many days! Kinda relieved and excited at the thought of the other party opening a big wide mouth and faint at its arrival. But what if the person don't? Heck. I've done my part. Whoever is it better appreciate it!
is that a global thought? Certainly will get hacked by SS if i said it is somewhat a convoluted chain of mind processes that twist around the little local mind and gets output-ted as a global thought. Using the synonyms function of MS Word 2003, "global" turns out to be "worldwide", "total", "comprehensive", "international", "inclusive", "overall", "large-scale". Let's now take at a look at the above actions again.
Holding the parcel for several days past its intended delivery date: a generally global behavior of the procrastinators. I am one. No shame.
Sending the parcel FINALLY: a worldwide accepted, even desired behavior (after all, better late than never) after deliberating for a period long enough to send the souls crying hard.
Opening a big wide mouth: a laaaarge-scale act that is often compulsory to gulf in more oxygen, and when failure strikes, you faint.
Not giving a damn about what happen and forcing the recipient to put on a smile upon receiving a not-so-nice parcel containing perhaps a whitish powder known as 'antraz': an international fear!
What more need I say to illustrate the power of the local mind in encasing a global thought?
walking thru' the dead night
Phew.. nearly missed the flight of steps that were to determine the existence of this entry. The couple in front of us walked up as we proceed down the well-lit path. At first thought, the couple seemed to have completed the trail but my friend felt otherwise. ".. must be too scared to walk on lah.." It wasn't difficult to see why.. no more lamp-posts along the trail.. darn, out to take away my heart from me issit?
As I trod on, I strived to reduce the physical space between the two of us, lest some force of any kind breaks through from the darkly decorated and insects/frogs-fested forested areas on both sides of the track. The only accompaniants were the swishy-swashing sound of my pants and the occasional breaking tweaks of shoes stepping on fallen twigs. And that didn't help! :o/
Every stretch of darkness we prod through, I felt relieved that we had been safe so far, with no botherings of any type. Though armed with someone who can exhibit one or two kicks, I still invariably held doubts about those years of training & its effectiveness in pinning down robbers. My confidence fluttered even more as I hear phrases of such repeating: "... i m just afraid of robbers holding a knife...." See lah! Even my friend had collaborated with the blackies of the night to earn a sigh of scare from me.
It is an instinct to regularly look back & check for passing shadows. One quick glance and it seemed as if they had blend in perfectly with the darkness, producing a vague stationary silhouette at the most. At such junctures, my imagination was made "livelier" by the friend's happy narration of a long-haired girl sitting quietly at the run-down pavillion. Again, this was repeated at least twice for as much as I remembered. Tsk tsk tsk.. my friend's having fun and i m having shits! The worst was a flight of stairs going up to Mt Imbiah (there was a figure quoted, but i can't seem to recall now *_* ). Pitch-black, plus with stories of bats flying around at the peak of the hill or some kind of cave or dunno what dilapidated hut served to send me walking faster and dragging my friend away from the adventure that seemd so alluring. Lemme learn some kicks & punches (if not, the ability to ruunnnn) first before I take up this challenge :-o
After this episode, it further validated my fear of the dark and unknown, not exotic forces per se, but the most super-unnatural ones. Damage done by the latter could not possibly outweigh those performed by the former. Robbers, rapers, murdurers, and perhaps many more variants that i can't think of now. Fine, just let me get out of this fast!
Yaaaa... that's the Dragon Trail proudly presented by the resource-scarced Sentosa. One more spooky place to put your hearts in :p
ya ya... finally
After moments of deliberation.. ok lah, blog lor.. what's there to hide anyway? Being someone of impeccable personality and a cool bloody kind soul to boast of, i gathered it could be magnaminous of me to share the secret recipes to being another one of ME. A great way to earning credits before i leave this world. Imagine a worldful of fantastic beings blessed with wonderful traits, woah.. What an ego-crunching feat! *chucks*
Read a few blogs so far... realize they are always bogged by the issues of not being able to blog comfortably and revealing details that might seem abit too much for the other party to handle. People ain't born mind readers, for all that is to care. Not everyone is of a superior being who can decipher my thoughts even as i vomit them out, bare and plain and stinky, for all to smell. I welcome the braveheart who is willing to rummage through the pool of watery (sometimes sticky) unidentifiable shapeless substances and once in awhile, jigsaw-puzzled the microscopic tiny bits to obtain a fuller picture of the after-ingested thoughts.
I am a lifelong blogger, or so the test led me to believe in... this is the start of my life!
